


Feelings are Fatal 🌸 BokuAka

by KeroppiHive



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, bokuaka angst, someone dies lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28668138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeroppiHive/pseuds/KeroppiHive
Summary: Akaashi develops feelings for Bokuto. But after realising he has Hanahaki, all he could do is let go, but could he?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 23





	Feelings are Fatal 🌸 BokuAka

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fanfiction i’ve ever written, so I hope you like it! Also, I had help from a friend on twitter so thank you for helping me! Another thing, please check out the playlist for the fanfic on Spotify!! Its called “Feelings are Fatal 🌸 Bokuaka” by me, keroppi hive :) heres the link if needed idk how to use AO3 iahsjwhs 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0DqlsLgcFLPLVKmGPUFc72?si=HKBqeS1jQziZ9VMUm2vj8g

Disclaimer: This story revolves around the Hanahaki disease, which of course will have mentions of:  
blood  
death  
and choking  
Please do not continue reading if any of the above trigger you in any way.

Akaashi’s POV:

Love. The feeling that can squeeze your heart affectionately yet can hurt you most. The labor every person in love goes through for the ones they love; and I am paying the price to love a man I care for dearly. However, my love for him was not a norm in the time I'm living.

A man cannot love another man.

I, Akaashi, who's born a man, is in love with another man. There are high obstacles I have to overcome. That is the labor of love.

"Akaashi!!" His obnoxiously sweet voice called out to me from the halls, echoing while getting closer. My hand stopped moving the pen I held. I hummed and locked eyes with him; thump, said my heart. "She said hi to me..." He sighed affectionately. "She noticed me.." Of course, it’s about her. Bokuto, the man I love, has his heart for someone else. Though it hurted me a bit, knowing his feelings towards me weren’t mutual, I would rather keep his happiness than mine. I will do whatever it takes to keep his smile shining.  
Bokuto went on and on about her, telling me her scent, the way her hair flows with the wind, and her eyes that gleamed when the sun shone upon them. The look he has on his face describing everything about her made me get lost in Bokuto’s eyes.  
“That’s great to hear, Bokuto.” The school day ends as we both walk home together. Bokuto kept on talking to the girl he liked, Miyamoto. After a while of him talking, he says goodbye and we walk together to my home. Our shoes and the rocks on the ground grinding against each other. I wave the man with black and white hair a solemnly goodbye. I twist the door handle of my front door. The silver reflecting my hands shadow on it as I push the door forward, a small creeking sound escaping. The immediate hit of nausea striked me, and I felt the urge to vomit my insides out. 

Running up to my room, I cover my mouth to prevent myself from throwing up on my staircase. I could feel my mouth went agape from the overwhelming nausea. Luckily, I make it to my room in time, shutting the door behind me. The feeling stops, which transitions to a violent cough, resulting in flower petals covered in blood alongside droplets of the said vital fluid coming out from my mouth and falling into my palms. The crimson of the blood coming out of my body made me sick, legs giving up as I fell knee first - bruised against the wooden floor. I look at my hands, staring at the blood stained petals on my palm, despair strikes as realization washed over me. The sickness soon replaced with an overbearing panic. What’ll happen? Should I tell him? Questions circled around my head, overthinking everything. After clearing my head, I cleaned up after myself as well as my room, trying my best to not let my parents find out.

The next school day arrives. I try to forget about what had happened last night, while walking with Bokuto, my upperclassman. I look up to the blue sky, surrounded by cherry blossom trees while being lost in my own thoughts. Bokuto, who was apparently talking, snapped me back into reality. “Akaashi! Did you even listen to what I was saying?” he said, in his usual upsetting tone. “Ah, sorry, Bokuto. Could you repeat it again?” Before being able to answer, we arrived at the school gates. There she stood. Hana Miyamoto herself, standing in front of the doors. She was known as a popular girl, which to no surprise caught many boys’ attention. In the corner of my eye, I could see Bokuto blushing as red as a tomato whilst frozen in his place. Seeing his expression caused a striking pain in my heart, causing me to lose my balance. I look over to Bokuto to see where he was with tears in my eyes and to my surprise, he was with her. Though, it’d be better if he didn’t see the state I was in. I dashed past the students gathering in front of the academy, trying hard to not spill any blood onto the ground. After running while trying to reach the bathroom, I barely make it to one of the stalls where I  
let out everything I was storing in my mouth, followed by vomiting and dry coughing. It felt like I was about to pass out just standing up. As I exited the lavatory, everything started getting blurry. My eyesight clouded, my ears ringing. I only made it to the door of said lavatory before fainting on the floor.  
.  
.  
Upon waking up, I find myself in a familiar yet strange room. I swear I was in the latrine just a while ago, where am I now? I put my palm to my forehead, trying hard to recollect my memory.  
“AKAASHI!!” yelled a man. As I looked over to where the sound was coming from, I was greeted with a squeeze by someone intimate. “B-Bokuto!? Why are you here? Don’t you have class?” I muttered out, looking at him as he let go of me. The tall owl sat down on the bed I laid in with a look of worry, putting his hand on the palm I rested on my leg. “Well, the teacher excused me from class to look over you. I found you passed out on the bathroom floor with blood on your hands so I brought you to the nurses office.” At this point, I could feel myself starting to pass out again. The last thing I heard was Bokuto’s muffled yelling, as well as the soft touch of his palms on my back. God, this was a dream, to be in his arms when I lose consciousness sounds like something out of a fairy tale.  
When I woke up, I realised I was in my room. Safely tucked in bed, with my school bag on my table where I put most of my items. Did Bokuto carry me home? That was all I could think of. Me, being carried in his arms to my house, sleeping soundly. It felt like a blessing. I snapped back into reality, remembering that I wasn’t meant to be with him, or, you could say we weren’t meant to be together. Tears filled my eyes as they dripped down the side of my face, One day, it’ll be the end for us both.

The next morning came around and Akaashi’s condition wasn’t any better, he was constantly choking and throwing up, which resulted in him skipping school often. Being one of Akaashi’s only friends, Bokuto, was the first to notice his companion’s absence.

Bokuto’s POV:

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Akaashi. I’m gonna be frank, I kind of miss him. His reassuring smile, his gunmetal blue eyes and his shining and messy yet fluffy black hair. Usually, he’d tell me whether he’ll attend school by texting me but these past few days? lol Not a single text sent. I left my phone at home, so I can’t really ask him right now. Hopefully when I get back and talk to him, he answers me.

The school day finally ends with me walking out of the school gates as usual until… “Miyamoto?” I said, approaching her. She was startled, which was understandable since she was alone and well, it was a pretty shady area. “Oh, hi Bokuto. Sorry, you caught me off guard heh. I’ve never seen you walk around here, you’d usually take the other way.” Well yea, this is my first time using this route. “I just wanted to say hi, actually.” She looked at me and giggled towards my response. God, she looked heavenly laughing. The sweet tone in her voice and her soft textured face. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. “You know Bokuto, you’re a really cool guy.” She said, which was an amazing thing to hear from her. We talked for a bit longer until her ride home came to pick her up. Before entering the car, being the nervous wreck I am, asked for her number and to my surprise, she gave me it with no hesitation. It was like a gift from the gods. I couldn’t help but stare at her contact number while walking back home. 

Meanwhile, at Akaashi’s…

A sharp pain struck across my chest, as if millions of spears stabbed me simultaneously. It felt like a near death experience in which you can imagine, is unpleasant. Having no one else to talk to about the unbearable pain, I dialed a close friend of Bokuto and I. The only man who I can trust with this secret.  
“Tetsurou Kuroo speaking, what’s up?” At this point, I can barely ever speak and have never really heard myself. “Hey Kuroo..” Dear god. Why do I sound so…Different? “Um excuse me, who is this?” he said, questioning the one on the other line. “It’s me, Akaashi. Sorry if I sound a bit different than usual, I’ll explain it to you in a bit.” I sighed. “Oh, Akaashi? I thought some old guy stole your phone and dialed me.” Alright, let’s not waste time.  
.  
.  
.  
“YOU HAVE WHAT!?” Kuroo’s yell echoed across the room. “Calm down will you!? My parents are asleep.” I yelled at him in a quiet tone. “Sorry, but couldn’t you  
have told me sooner? Why not tell Bokuto?”  
“...” Only silence was heard after that question.  
“Akaashi?” I couldn’t bear the thought of Bokuto’s reaction. “Alright then, you don’t have to answer that.” A sigh of relief escaped my mouth.  
“Well, I wanted to ask you about this whole disease thing. I don’t know much about it, and I figured out you were the best person to ask.” The wording wasn’t what it sounded like in my head because I just boosted this rooster haired bastard’s ego by a milestone. In a cocky tone, he went “Ohohohoh, Akaashi. I’m the best person you could ask? What an honour!” I wish I could just hit him right here right now. “Okay shut up, this isn’t why I called you. I just wanted your help about this whole Hanahaki thing and how to get rid of it.”  
“Alright alright! You don’t have to be so rude about it.”  
After a while of research, Kuroo finally spoke about what he had found out.  
“Hey Akaashi, um I have good and bad news.”  
That’s never good.  
“Good news is that there is a cure, bad news is..”  
.  
“It’s to get surgery, but the consequences are that you lose the ability to love.”  
Hearing that made me freeze. I could feel my face turn pale. With the noticeable shaking in my voice, I asked him if there was another way. The sound of the keyboard could be heard.  
“I’m sorry but..There isn’t.”  
Either way, there’s no happy ending. For me, to be exact.  
“Alright then, thank you for your help Kuroo. I appreciate it.”  
Both of us knew the fate that was destined for me.  
“No problem, feel free to talk to me when there’s anything up.”  
Saying our goodbyes, we ended off our conversation then and there.

I woke up the next day and had an uneasy feeling. It wasn’t necessarily disturbing me, so I brushed it off. But it still wouldn’t get off my mind.

Bokuto’s POV:

Today’s the day. I finally have the courage to ask her out. I plan on asking her to meet me after school ends, but even with her on my mind, I couldn’t help but think of Akaashi during our break. Is he sick? If he was, he would’ve told me long ago. I would text him right now but I accidentally left my phone at home, though I promised myself calling him would be the first thing I do when I get home.  
School finally ends, I walk up to Miyamoto.  
“Hey Miyamoto! I was wondering if you could meet me on the street we met last time?” I tried my best keeping it low-key and making eye contact, but I hope I didn’t look weird or creepy in her eyes.  
“Sure, I’d love to!” Her answer was a relief to hear, if she had said no, all that build up was for nothing.

I exit the gates, slowly approaching the area we planned to meet, as if I were too early, it’d make me look desperate.  
With every step I take, I can hear the stomping of my footsteps lingering/drumming in my ears. My legs were getting weaker and I could my body getting overwhelmed with the feeling of unease. I wasn't technically disheartening with the idea of what I'm about to do, but exhilarated wouldn't be my word of choice either. It was a wave/rushed of uneasiness entering my body ━ getting more agitated with the suspension as I made my way towards her.  
Making it to my destination, I tapped lightly on her shoulder as she was facing the other way.  
She turned to look at me, her eyes glowing along the way.  
The dim street lights and setting sun being our only source of light,  
yet Miyamoto’s eyes shined brighter.  
“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to come here.” This is the moment.  
“The truth is-“ Here it comes!  
“You like me, don’t you?”  
The straightforward statement caught me off guard, but there’s no backing out now. All I have to do is just tell the truth.  
“Well yes, I wanted to ask in a formal way but now that you know, why deny it?”  
Putting her hand on my shoulder, she said “It was obvious, but cute at the same time, heh.” The redness of my cheeks spreaded around my whole face.  
“So, are we a thing now?” I asked, trying to make it less awkward for the both of us.  
She looked at me while blushing, I’m guessing our feelings were mutual?  
“I guess we are.” Both of us didn’t know what to do. Is this how relationships are?  
Soon enough, Miyamoto wanted to leave but then..  
“Wait!” I yelled out for her, grasping her wrist as she almost tripped onto the pavement.  
“Would you...Like to go to the mall with me? It’s not that dark out, and I know a place we could go to!”  
She looked at me with her eyes wide in a shock.  
“N-Now?”  
“Of c-course! It can be like a first date kind of thing, you know?”  
Oh dear what did I just say.  
“Well, I don’t really have anything to do at home anyways. Let’s go!”  
Mission accomplished.

As we walk off, going to our destination, I find out more about Miyamoto. She’s more than just some pretty girl, and that’s what makes her so loveable.  
We arrive at a small cafe near the school, sitting down after a long day at the place we call school.  
Ordering drinks and food for ourselves with leftover cash, doing our homework, helping each other out and joking around, I would say it went well. On our way home, I spotted a park nearby. Wanting to be a caring boyfriend, I asked Miyamoto if she wanted to take a few pictures as memories at the park. With her agreeing, we stopped by while I took some pictures from her phone.  
Finally, after around a few hours of going out with her, I arrived back home. Opening the door, I could see that all of the lights in the living room were dark. I must’ve been out for a really long time. I approached the kitchen, to see if there was anything for me to eat in case I was hungry. I laid my eyes on a few snacks in the cabinet that looked good, taking a few of the aforementioned snacks along with me upstairs.

Going up to my room I remember the subtle promise I made to myself to ring Akaashi up, since again, we both haven’t communicated with each other for a while.  
I took my phone, looked for his contacts and called him.  
Akaashi better pick up, I’m getting angsty here. All I want to hear is an “I’m alright, Bokuto.” from him, nothing else. He’s been worrying me non-stop, and it doesn’t help the fact he wasn’t my wingman while I was asking Miyamoto out.

I munched on the snacks I had bought upstairs with me while waiting for Akaashi to pick up, weirdly enough, it felt like the atmosphere was in a way, off putting. The phone was ringing and I could hear his ringtone playing.

Akaashi’s POV:

While relaxing on my bed, the same sharp feeling happened again, but this time it didn’t go away. It was agonising trying to get up and not choke on the flowers and blood.  
At that moment, my phone buzzed to him, Bokuto, calling me. This was weird since Bokuto rarely calls me and those rare phone calls would usually be about important things, so what could be so important?

“AKAASHI!” he yelled through his microphone. I don’t think putting him on speaker as well as close to my ear was a good idea.  
His tone and energy was mixed with happiness and anger. “Bokuto..? What’s wrong? Did anything bad happen?”  
Sniffles could be heard from the other line.  
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me but all I’m worried about is you. You haven’t attended school in like, weeks and you barely miss school. Could you at least explain?” 

“...”

“I’m sorry Bokuto, but I don’t think I could, even if I tried.”  
Please understand, I can never muster the courage to tell you.  
“Fine then, I’ll respect that. But I wanted to tell you some good news!”  
His tone slightly elevated to a more cheerful tone than before.  
“I don’t think you know this, but I confessed to Miyamoto today!”  
Hearing the words made my heart drop. My hands shaking uncontrollably, trying to keep a hold on my phone. “W-Would you m-mind repeating, Bokuto…?”  
The noticeable shaking and stuttering in my voice shook me to my core.  
Still in a confident and cheerful tone, he repeated his sentence, word for word, with the addition of “We’re dating now too! Isn’t that amazing?!” 

The same heart stabbing sensation didn’t feel like a sensation anymore, this time, it was as if it was physically hurting me. Squeezing my chest, at the area where my heart was located, I coughed vigorously as I could see my life flashing before my eyes. The moment I fell in love with Bokuto, us practicing together with Kuroo, everything.  
Tears were forming, but I couldn’t cry. My mouth filled to the brim with flowers drenched in my own blood, muffling my words.  
Bokuto caught on and I could hear the worry in his voice. “Akaashi? Akaashi can you hear me?”  
I wanted to reach out to him and finally tell him my feelings, but the overwhelming pain of petals forming prevented me from trying.  
“Hey! Say something will you!?”  
Finally, holding onto my phone for dear life and finally getting rid of enough blooms to talk, I told him.

“Don’t worry, I’m here, and always will be. But I have something to say. You are my paradise, remember that in this life and the next. I love you dearly, Bokuto.”  
The heaviness in my breathing made it hard to breathe, along with the constant flowers that would make me choke every second.  
“What does that mean Akaashi?” My body getting tired and heavy to move, all I could do is hear his muffled screams.  
I’m sorry we couldn’t meet again and say our farewells, but I hope you are happy with her, Bokuto. I never wanted to leave you, but in the end, not everyone has their good ending.

The next morning, Akaashi’s parents found him dead on his bed, smiling while covered in sakura petals. His death was a peaceful one as Bokuto, the last person who spoke to Akaashi, would say. His funeral was held a few days after his death and Akaashi was finally buried. At the funeral, Bokuto had been silent the whole day, not even talking to his girlfriend or Kuroo, who had also happened to be there. Bokuto’s eyes looked lifeless, as if he was in “emo mode” but with no switch. His face was a pale white, his sunny yellow went dim and his owl-like hair imitating his mood. Usually, Bokuto would be pumped with energy and was always looking at the bright side but now, it seemed like his optimistic personality was drained out of his life.

To be continued…

**Author's Note:**

> HI EVERYONE!! I finally rewrote everything, but put more details and emotion into it, so I hope you enjoy!


End file.
